Heart Weeds

It has been quite some time since I wrote a blog post.  I used to do it almost daily.  Not sure what happened, but today seemed like a good day to write.

So, the message at church this morning contained information about 4 general "places" that active church members would usually fall.....like where they are are in their spiritual life.

     1.)  Exploring Christianity
     2.) Growing Closer to God
     3.) Close to God
     4.) Christ Centered

If the sermon was true, I've been in the second area for about 20 years.  The pastor did say that sometimes people stay in the second stage for a long time.  The timing of the sermon was great.  I attended The Global Leadership Summit this past week and felt absolutely compelled to grow closer to God and to be part of the work in the world that He still has in mind.

After church, we went out to lunch and I wanted to do something more.....but a Sunday afternoon nap called my name.  Afterwards, I walked outside to water a plant and noticed some weeds that I had been working on last night.  I pulled some, but realized I had to get moving on something else.  So I vowed to spend an hour in the yard later in the evening......working on those weeds!

I got a lawn trash bag, an old towel to kneel/sit on, and a big water bottle and headed out to the yard.  The sun had gone down behind the house, and it was quiet.  I found that a lot of the weeds were so intermingled with the grass that I really had to work at getting to the root, while preserving the grass.  I thought about using gloves to protect my hands, but found that my bare hands did it best.

I thought about a time when I was younger and used to weed flower beds.  It was tempting to just pull the green leaves/stuff off and leave the roots.....much faster and then I could get on to what I wanted to do.  But now that it is my grass, and I love that it looks like a golf course and that you can go bare footed, I take a lot more care.  I want to get those weeds at the roots so they don't come back.

I started thinking about the "weeds" in my life.  There are things that are easy "to get the leaves off of".....to trim the appearance so that it "looks" nicer.  But a quick jerk on the weeds leave the roots.  If you don't get to the root, the weeds are going to come back.  If you just go to pulling and yanking, you will mess up the good grass too.

I'm not going to keep writing, you get what I mean.  I ended up with a half a lawn bag full of weeds.  Hopefully I got to the root on most of them and I won't have to keep doing the same spots over and over.  But I am sure there will be some that will come back.  Maybe even bigger and stronger and meaner than before.  But that's the way of life, wouldn't you say?

So I Write

What do you do when yourr once-in-a-life-time best friend is hundreds of miles away?
What do you do when you've emailed your really-good-used-to-be-best-friend-but some-crazy-shit-happened and they haven't responded yet?
What do you do when your man is watching football with your brother and dad and does not want to talk (I mean, I don't know why he wouldn't want to hear about emotions and "stuff" during the Super Bowl)?
What do you do when you lost your old "adult" best friend four years ago when you made some bad choices?
What do you do when all you want to do is curl up and cry but are way too tough and have removed those emotional breakdowns from your life?

I write.

Because I've read quotes before from other writers, basically stating something along the lines of I don't know what I think until I write.

I write to figure myself out.

Oh Harley!

How can a person know that they missing something that they didn't even know they were missing?

That's how I feel about motorcycles.  I thought that "bikers" were long-haired, unbathed, rough and rowdy folks.  Who would possibly want to ride a loud-ass motorcycle in less than ideal weather?

I would!  And I didn't even know it.  I wasn't scared to get on the back of one the first time I did, I just never had.  And considering the guy who took my motorcycle virginity......well, I was ready to give it a try with him :)  I loved it.  We rode more than 2 hours and could have gone longer.  I couldn't wait to do it again.  We rode a lot in the first couple of months that we were getting to know each other. 

Then, we rode to the beach.  THAT was a long ride.  I loved it still......though I wasn't chomping at the bits to ride again for a while. 

I love the wind in my face, I am even getting an open face helmet.  I love the sun on my body.  I like to lean up against my man, feeling him under my arms that are holding on to him.  The noise is so relaxing to me that I have fallen asleep on the back before ( I know, SO dangerous!)  It honestly is the best disconnect from stress that I can imagine. 

Oh Harley, what took you so long to call me!?!?!

Tolerance

I love people.  I love to watch people.  I love to study people.  People are so interesting.

One very interesting thing I see repeatedly is this: A conservative will tolerate a liberal; a liberal will not tolerate a conservative. 

Now this is not to say that this is true 100% of time, always forever every time.  There are no absolutes. 

But for the most part, I find it true.

Simple Rules

I love simple "rules" that can be applied in any situation. 

Peter McWilliams, author of the book Life 101, says "Pain (any pain--emotional, physical, mental) has a message. The information it has about our life can be remarkably specific, but it usually falls into one of two categories: "We would be more alive if we did more of this," and, "Life would be more lovely if we did less of that." Once we get the pain's message, and follow its advice, the pain goes away."

The 10 Commandments are great, but no one can comply all the time.....though they are lofty aspirations.  Simple things, like "love others".  If we all did that, imagine what this world would be like.  The book of Proverbs is full of these simple solutions to life.  Sometimes, you'll see history repeat itself and come up with a few words that sum it up. 

So, here are a few that I have found to be applicable ALL THE TIME and help life be more lovely with less pain.

1.) Proverbs 3:7, "Do not be wise in your own eyes".  No explanation needed here.

2.) Be careful with words.  Keep the main thing, the main thing. Say what you mean,
     and mean what you say. 
          Words are powerful and carry a lot of weight.  If your word cannot be trusted, what can be 
          trusted about you?  Communication problems in relationships occur when people beat around
          the bush, try to make it feel good, do not say what is on their heart, or say words that are not in
          their soul. 

3.) Again: words, words, words!  "Those who choose murmuring will live their lives in the wilderness", by author James MacDonald.  Read the book, "Lord, Change My Attitude" and find out what the wilderness attitudes are and replacement them with "promised land" attitudes!  Examples: Replace a  complaining attitude with an attitude of thankfulness; or Replace a critical attitude with a loving attitude.  These are not simple, quick fixes but if you try - you will be a much happier person!

I suppose I could go on, but these are the things I want to dwell on and try to live out each and every day. 

And just to add my own flair, (because, really, I am so not even close to the first 3 items listed) I'll leave this final word.  This ESPECIALLY applies to women, but really I guess it could apply anywhere. 

If someone says they are an asshole, believe them.

It's Been A Year

It has been one full year since the last blog post I composed. 

That day was my last Friday at State Farm. 

I was headed out of the insurance industry into the Lord's work. 

The person I was dating and I were ........what.......engaged?  Not exactly.  He gave me a ring the following Wednesday after that Friday, but he never asked the question, and it was like....strange.....idk......  Subsequently, he made the decision to get it on with Young and Delicious, his very young and attractive, temporary secretary (I call her Y&D for short).  He was sure of the choice he made then, but then he changed his mind (they always do, don't they?)  I, on the other hand, wasn't sure about it then but am 110% sure now that it was the best thing to ever happen.......I guess you could say it became Krystal clear........hahaha.

I had no idea what to expect heading into a new job working as the office manager at a church.  I wasn't scared, but looking back now I realize I was quite ill-prepared.

One thing I've learned: do not confuse church business and being a christian.  The two are totally seperate things.  And it is best to keep it that way, really.  Someone recently told me that they bet I had the best "quiet time" ritual, after all......I work at a church.  That could NOT be any further from the truth.  The truth is that I never have a free minute and devotions are crammed into the beginning of a meeting so we can feel good about having had one.  I have had to find my spirituality outside of my job. 

I do not want to make it sound like church work is of the devil, though some might argue........ha!
I have met some of the most wonderful people and made such good friends.  I've even found some old friends, who through course and time have just fallen off my radar.  Then, somehow, the church where I work brings them back into my life.

All of this to say: I thought I knew the plan.  My life was mapped out.  Surely at 18 I knew exactly where I was headed and how I would get there.  Right?

Wrong.  I have NO idea where I am going or how I will get there.  But I don't have to.  I am getting better at giving everything up to God.  Human nature is flawed and there is no way we can ride the road He had for us.  That was ruined a long time ago. 

Even though the road is broken, God has blessed it. 

"Hindsight's 20/20", don't waste your time.  If it is to be, there will be a U-turn for it.  If not, leave it behind.

My old blog was broken and irreparable in it's decay.  It was time for a new "vehicle" if you will.......

A new blog for a new time in life.